


we follow the lines

by graves



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:03:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graves/pseuds/graves
Summary: Levi calls them in the middle of the night, and they answer right away.—Levi and Hange, a diner, and some grief.





	we follow the lines

**Author's Note:**

> ... _in the palms of our hands_

Levi calls them in the middle of the night, and they answer right away. 

“It’s okay,” they tell him. He’s done it before—it had been worse during the first few months after it happened. He’d called nearly every night. It’s not as bad now, but he still calls every so often, clutching the sheets in one hand while he says their name in the smallest voice. 

“I’ll pick you up. I’m leaving right now.”

They have their own life, their own job, their own husband, but they never fail to answer the phone. Hange’s always there.

When he gets into the car, the chill of the night air biting right through his thin jacket, they tilt their head towards him, whisper,  _ hey _ . He rests his head on the window while they drive. Hange doesn’t say anything; they know his silences like they know everything else: intuitively, deeply. He glances over and watches the glow from the streetlight reflect in their glasses as they turn the wheel, checking for coming cars even though it’s three twenty-seven in the morning and there’s no one around. 

Hange doesn’t have to ask him; they already know where to go.

They’re not the only ones inside the diner, but it’s still fairly quiet. There’s only the ambient sound of silverware clinking to fill the silence after their waiter takes their order and brings their coffee. 

“I’m sorry I always do this,” Levi says, picking apart his napkin over the table. “I know it was a while ago and—”

“Levi,” they interrupt. They reach over and place their hand over his. “That doesn’t matter.” He feels their hand tighten over his as they take their glasses off and lay them on the table.

Levi bites his lip. “Hange, I think this is going to hurt forever.” He looks up to them for a brief moment and then looks back at their hands clasped on the table. If he’d looked at them any longer, he was going to cry.

Hange only nods. 

“Yeah,” they breathe out, “yeah, it is.”

He has to squeeze his eyes shut to keep it inside. 

“You know, I had a dream.”

Their food comes before he can continue. Only a few pieces of toast for Levi, an omelette for Hange. They’ll probably go home and go back to sleep after this, slide back in next to Moblit, apologize for having to go out so late. He’d kiss them for his response and they’d take the next day off. He knows only because this has happened so many times.

“A nightmare?” they ask.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I was back at our house, the way it was before. I’d walked into the living room and there he was.”

He huffs and turns, putting his chin in his hand and looking out of the window against their booth.

“I don’t think I knew I was dreaming and I said ‘what are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be here.’ Then he turned to me from his chair—you know, the one he used to sit in so often it practically had his ass carved into it—”

Hange laughs something quiet and bittersweet.

“And he just looked at me. He was where he always was, and the blinds were open so the light came in just right and he looked really beautiful.” Levi tenses all over. It hurts, wound old but never healed, still frayed, still bleeding.

“He smiled at me. Everything felt normal again. Felt like last spring, right before he’d gotten sick. Then I woke up.”

Their food sits untouched between them. Steam rises from their coffees and their waiter walks past the table but leaves them alone. The traffic lights change and blink on the road even though there’s no cars. Things happen just as they always do. 

“I’d tried to go back to sleep. Just so I could tell him I loved him one more time.” 

“Oh, Levi,” Hange says, their voice soft in that way it always is. “I wish you could have too.” 

He likes that about Hange—they never judge him for anything he says, no matter how many times he repeats it each time he talks to them; they never try and steer his feelings back to positive or away from the ugly, always agreeing with him, letting him feel whatever he’s feeling; they don’t do anything but listen, endlessly, patiently. It’s what he needs. 

“I miss Eren so much, Hange.” He watches the yellow traffic light blink, blink, blink. He misses Eren, he misses Eren, he misses Eren. 

“I know,” they say. Their hand never leaves his. 

They sit in silence together for a long time. The night carries on, time continuing its steady march, people moving around them while they sit, frozen in a moment that will never end. Something everlasting, always hurting, stretching far, far into forever.

The traffic light blinks yellow, and Levi breathes in.

**Author's Note:**

> things in my own life made me sad so i had to get it out ; _ ; title & note at the beginning from i need you by nick cave. [tumblr !](http://graves-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
